Here's the story...

This is me and Kelly.  We met over 5 years ago over the Internet.  I had my crazy rules for Internet dating like - 1. I never made first contact with anyone.  2. If you initiate contact with "You're Hot!" or something stupid like, "How You Doin'?"  then you're automatically kicked to the curb.  and 3. If for any reason I don't like you - you're gone.  Kelly defied the odds by plucking me from the bottom of his compatibility list.  I'm not kidding...I tried to find myself from his profile and I was almost dead last.  I'm still wondering if we had anything in common or if what the criteria for compatibility is!  Somehow that night, after messaging for hours, he conned me into giving him my phone number.  And that's the story.